its all HIS anyway.

All this fuss about not getting paid really is ridiculous. Ba.hum.bug. I firmly believe our military should [and deserves] to get paid, and in a situation where we {usually} never have to worry about not getting a steady pay check. OH WAIT we do. Oh the stories of back pay. At least we get back pay though right? I mean I know this is coming from a family that has saved enough that this pay delay won't affect us too adversely [holla out to Mr. Ramsey]. I mean we will not be going out to celebrate at the nearest McDonalds any time soon or buying more groceries than are absolutely necessary until this situation is rectified. And I am thanking the Lord we cloth diaper! But nor am I pulling out the gold to sell it at the nearest pawn shop [ps I don't have gold anyway].

All this just makes me think of a little over a year or two ago when all those people lost their jobs. Many people very close to me lost their hours and received a pay cut. They were devastated by the economy. It wasn’t a delay either. Please don’t misunderstand my tone hear. I remember what it’s like on a PV2 salary. I know what it’s like to receive enlisted pay HA! We have always lived on a budget and had to watch our finances closely because we have never had too much room to wiggle. My heart cries out to the Lord for the people that this will devastate their situation, maybe it’s you. Late fees. And termination fees. When you are already *note above* on a tight budget. The world does not understand back pay. Tell the world “here let me write you an IOU, I’m good for the money, I get back pay” and we will just get a go [insert naughty word here] you.

I just can’t help but express my gratitude even in this craptastic situtation. That the Army [US Government] has been faithful. Maybe not always on time but they have always paid us eventually. Yes that sucks for now, but there were a whole lot of people I know that that sucked for them the end. They didn’t get back pay. They didn’t get anything. It was just done. They lost their job with none other insight.

So until then. I am celebrating with the Lord that He has always provided. He is the source of everything. Ultimately it is His faithfulness that has kept food on the table and heat in my house. I wrote a blog not too long ago in which a quoted Beth Moore I think it can stand to be repeated again in the midst of the chaos we are facing.

“Some where along the way we accept Satan's lie that we had something to do with our provisions. It is not our effort but God who provides for us. When we have plenty we tend to forget the source of the bounty.”

Don’t forget the source. Don’t misconstrue that its not congress or the individuals that determine our future. He is in control of all things. He is the ultimate provider. You have no reason to fear. He has ordained our steps even before we could place them.

Resting in His promises.

blog worthy.

from today's bible study. beth {yes we are on a first name basis here} says it all.

"Now I will put you through the hardest test of all: I will let you grow accustomed to My presence. I will feed you from My table daily and prove who you really are. Will you grow in awe, or will you grow cold?" talking about Exodus 16:4 the Lord raining down manna

"Have you grown casual with God? Has He become an assumption to you? Do you feel that you know all you need to know about Him? Is it even getting hard to go through the motions? When was the last time you fell on your face before Him and wept over the unfathomable fact that He has chosen to take up residence in your very being? Someone in ministry once said to me about my zeal, 'You'll get over it.' May God usher me home before I accept an ongoing lifestyle of spiritual mediocrity!"


"Often our character is at greater risk in prosperity than in adversity. Some where along the way we accept Satan's lie that we had something to do with our provisions. It is not our effort but God who provides for us. When we have plenty we tend to forget the source of the bounty"

***I am in love. Its changing and revitalizing my heart every day. Love this study. Love my Jesus more. Lord may I never lose sight that You are the source of everything***

houston we have a blog post.

You know. I think of lots of really great things all day long. I also have fantastic converstations with myself inside my head. I start to blog {you should see all my drafts} and its like I draw a blank. I actually considered just shutting down the blog altogether. If only there was a way to just think and have it automatically transferred to the blogsphere. The epitamy of lazy. Or perhaps I'm just exhausted. Exhausted all. the. time. When I get a second of down time I want to do nothing but stare blankly into the TV. Yes I am that person. I confess. I love love my TV. I don't care who knows it. I'll shout if from the roof tops. This is what we get when I finally blog. Perhaps another reason why I'm not all about the blogging is I think people should just all join Facebook and keep updated on my live via status' and comments. Comments on Facebook make my heart smile. I also love Facebook. I also love my children. There is where the honestness lies. How do these people with kids manage to sit down and do all these blogs. Now granted people ask me the same thing as I can punch out a novel in just a few seconds to which I will now reveal my secret to novel writing emails, comments, blogs, and etc. 1. I talk an unbelievable amount and decently fast. 2. My brain goes atleast 5xs the amount I talk so I'm constantly three sentences ahead of what I type, write, or say. 3. I had to take a typing class in high school so I'm actually really good at typing and can therefore type ALMOST as fast as I can think.... so blogging actually doesn't take that much time for me when I actually get time. But like I stated before when I actually do find time I ruthlessly enjoy my brain turning to mush while watching television. So there we have it and my time is up. My never ending cycle of feeding my daughter has just came up. My number has been called. In the words of my awesome nephew peace out homie homie.

twoforone

so today also marks another anniversary for my mom&dad {inlaw} and thought they deserved a moment of pause as well. after all have you seen this clan?!?! And this isn't even all of us any more. That they wrangle us all is quite remarkable.

So to Mom and Dad. Although I wasn't actually born from you two {thank you Jesus-that'd be weird} I am so grateful that you absolutely are my mom and dad. There isn't a day that I'm not thankful for the children you raised from birth and the ones you've collected over the years. That you are a prime example of the truth that love expands. Its never limited. It's continually growing. And infact the more people you love the more intense that love becomes. That you live by example and encourage all of us to grow. So to the best parents and grandparents a kid could ever wish for... Happy Anniversary!!!! We love you so much!

about a girl.

This is a blog about this cool girl. Her name is Jen. She was born today. And that makes me happy. SO to you friend. The story of US ;)

We both decided to go to college...and this is where we met.

We became best friends. And practically lived together.

Then I decided to drop out. To marry this guy. There she my #1 friend.

At the wedding she met this guy and they became friends.

THEN they became this TEAM.

She decided to marry THAT guy, and here I am here #1B.

Now she's my sister.

Then they decided to multiply. Jen + Nic = +1 more. Then WE became THIS....
and had all THESE....
and oh wait we're not quite done...
{yes I drew this picture. for free. with my awesome talentedness}

This is because we look hot.

Jesus is pretty neat. It's cool how He set us up. Then set you and Nic up. Now were family and thats pretty sweet. We have cool kids. And we're still on this road called life traveling together. Working it out. Figuring this whole friendship, parenting, family, thing here on the ground. One day we'll be in Heaven together, and thats great too. I hope you have a really awesome birthday. Thanks for sticking around. Being my friend. Sharing our family. Growing together. I love you dearly and hope you had a great day and feel my love from miles away {not for much longer now!}

yes. i also stole most these pictures from facebook. i am a thief. jen i did it all for you. ;)

in with the new.

Well. Let's see. We started the year on seperate continents seperated by an ocean but kept together by love ;) Miraculously got pregnant in a two week window on Sam's R&R. Had more trips to the E.R. then I ever thought possible, or ever want to experience again. Spent half the year under the same roof as my father. Got in a car accident. We celebrated FIVE years of marriage. Sam turned 25. Sam came home from his 2nd deployment safe, sound, and whole. We got to share the experience with almost the whole family! My baby turned 2. Traded the Pacifica for a minivan. With that same trade we were able to get Sam a work car. Celebrated 6 years in the Army. I got outrageously huge with child. We finally found a church we love!! Welcomed baby girl into the world. Made several trips to the zoo. Had some great visits from family. Didn't go home for any of the holidays, but managed okay on our own. Gavin's pretty much potty trained. Charlotte's sleeping through the night. Despite spending half the year apart, Sam and I have had our best year ever together.

I know there were some points during the year that I felt and thought I may not make it through, ironically I can barely remember them. I'm left overwhelmed with awe at our miraculous our God is. We've made it through TWO deployments with our marriage stronger than ever. I laugh more now with my husband than ever before. Although evenly matched with our two kids now, I feel like we are more of a team than ever. Charlotte by far was the greatest moment of 2010 for us. But I am excited to be ending the year fully recovered and healthy [no more nausea for me!], although almost 40lbs heavier [thanks Charlotte], and starting off with my whole family under one roof. I'm excited about this being the last full year in the military and being 14 hrs from home, losing those 40lbs, seeing Gavin turn three and transition into my big boy, watching my little girl learn to sit, crawl, walk, and talk, and seeing how my love for my husband continues to grow stronger each day. So bring it on 2011. I'm ready to get this year started and to see where we end up.

my little nut nut.

So its been two months since this little girl has been outside my body. I L.O.V.E. her. She's pretty awesome. She constantly smiles and enjoys to smile at nothing? Ha. She laughs in her sleep. She likes to try to talk to her momma. She's good at being gorgeous and smart and super strong. She loves to be rocked or bounced or put in her swing. She always wants to be apart of everything that is going on around her. She likes to play closest to you so that YOU know she's there and can talk to her. She is just a button.
Today we had her check up and she's 13lbs 1oz and 23.5in long. That puts her in the 99%for weight and 95% for height. She has totally taken her mommy by surprise. The girls gots rolls and rolls and rolls, and I L.O.V.E. IT! The doctor today told me she was much more like a 4 month old and not just in her size and weight. She was rolling over in the doctor's office. She can hold up her weight [stand] when you hold her hands. She is even starting to try to sit up. I can't believe it. She needs to slow down {not really... I'm just a little emotional today}. Between her and her "advanced-ness" and Gavin fitting perfectly in new 4T shirts we got him & now wearing underwear!... I need my kids step back on the growing. I feel like they are off to college already.

She really isn't very much like her brother. I love that my kids are already so uniquely themselves. They each look so different, one like me and one like sam. Then they act so different, probably one like me :/ and one like sam. I joke, but am really serious, when I say the more kids I have the more I want. I just love who they are and all the ups and downs and inbetween moments with them. I like the people me+sam create. Well Jesus really did it, but I like the combination they get from us. I like the chaos that they bring, sleep deprivation and all. I cherish the joy the exude. Its funny how after marrying Sam I could barely remember life before him, and really don't care to think of life without him. Its the same with my children. Its only been two months since she's been here but I cannot imagine my life without her. I live an extremely blessed life and every day I thank the One who's given me more than I deserve, although often find I can't find the words to say... I'm just left overwhelmed with gratitude and speechless.

Santa.

Disclaimer:
I think most people [well at least I hope so] decide to do or not do certain things for specific reasons. I’m not saying that I have all the answers or am right or that you are a bad parent or person for choosing to do things differently. However, I do the things I do for specific reasons that I feel right; otherwise I wouldn’t be doing them and I am secure and confident in our choices to do them. I trust and hope it’s the same for you as well. I don’t think the “minor” things are deal breakers with the Kingdom of God, they feel a lot bigger when you have a stance on them, but honestly there is no chapter in the bible that specifically covers Santa. With our children I think that’s part of the responsibility and privilege that comes with the territory. With each step of the way we have sought the Lord, prayed, sought wise counsel, and talk with each other on what we feel the Lord is saying and calling us to do for ourselves and our children. We all are not going to fully see eye to eye on all things. I get that. I respect that. At the end of it all we will have to agree to disagree.

First off, I just want to explain what we DO do {“Friends” lovers please insert chuckle here} When Gavin was born we decided to ask the Lord what He wanted for our family for traditions and etc. A couple things. The Lord emphasized birthdays… they’re BIG. He showed us He wanted us to take one day a year and lavishly pour out our praise and excitement for the person He created. He wanted us to extravagantly emphasize that we were made for a reason and a purpose and He celebrates us. And we get to celebrate that He created us! That to me was exciting. When it came to Christmas He put that same emphasis on the fact this is the day we celebrate Jesus’ birth. As a result each year Jesus is our main focus, we throw Him a birthday party to the best of our ability. We put up the birthday sign. We make a cake. And we pray and ask Him what He wants for His birthday.

This segways into reason #2 to steal a quote from my dear sister friend Jen Chaput, “our King came down from His throne to be with us and make a way for us to be with Him forever. now that's an event worth celebrating” His sacrifice. He gave up everything to be with us. What a sacrifice He made. So, each year we try to model that sacrifice and as a result we don’t exchange gifts [which I have many reasons why I don’t particularly care for gifts on Christmas, but that’s not for now] We take what we might have spent on each other and give to someone who needs it more. In hopes of spreading the joy and the gift we receive in Jesus and praying that get to know Jesus a little more by our sacrifice. This year we donated through Gospel for Asia: a cow, some chickens, some rabbits, and a water purifier. You can ask our family if they like their gifts or not ha! But that’s what we gave them.

With all of that. Now for how we feel about Santa. In all honesty, I don’t even know how Santa became such a huge part of our tradition for Christmas as Christians. Even the man of Nicolas who, yes lived long ago, loved the Lord fiercely, and did mighty and awesome things in His name… I mean did he give gifts during Christmas? I don’t know why his gifts are elevated higher than our Lord’s gift of His son??? Why Santa gets paired up with Christmas I think is more due to Hallmark, Coca-Cola, and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade [which started to set off the Christmas shopping season with a big glorious bang encouraging people to get out there and get those gifts]. I mean the whole story of Rudolph was created to sell more during Christmas, same with our cultural representation of the jolly Santa in the red and white [coca-cola colors] suit. St. Nicolas real. The man we call Santa, not so much. Research it. It’s true. And wildly disheartening, how much our cultural traditions of Christmas revolve around consumerism.

I think a lot of people get upset when I said the Santa lie. Would you prefer I use less harsh words: deception, fib, exaggeration??? (All of which can be found under the definition of a lie.) Whether or not you want to say that, because it sounds harsh, going and buying gifts then telling your kids that they came from a person that is LOOSELY based upon a real man, is not the truth. Maybe a half truth? But isn’t that still a lie. I’m just calling it as I see it. Now, I know the magic Santa holds. I was raised with it. I know the allure; I know the temptation to share that with your children. I also know that there are lots of things I would like to embark upon that I feel don’t glorify the Lord in its fullest so refrain from doing. For the record I would also like to state, I think there is quite a bit a difference between letting my son be a kid. Imagining his toys come to life or that his stuffed animals talk to him or that Disney characters are real. He comes to those conclusions on his own. I don’t tell him they are real, and if he asked me if they were real I would tell him the truth. I let my son be a kid, I let him use his imagination. I don’t feel I squash it in anyway, and trust in five to ten years he can tell you that himself. However, I also let him know what is real and what isn’t. I have some friends who work out the Santa thing in one of the most admirable ways I could think of [shout out to MO BREDEN] but even still I don’t agree with Santa. I don’t there is no way around it. I think he pulls from the true reason for the season, and I think my Jesus is enough. I don’t like to share Him with anyone or thing on His birthday. Just Him.

Yes, I feel strongly about all of this. Just like I’m sure you feel strongly about the other side of the fence. Please note my disclaimer above and also this is coming from the person who: won’t read or watch Twilight, Harry Potter, the Golden Compass, The Princess and the Frog, we don’t celebrate Halloween [we dressed up once and I was convicted] we pass out candy with evangelism tracts on how to know Jesus, we don’t do the Easter Bunny [a whole other tangent], and we don’t give gifts at Christmas. I know we are in the minority. I know that people may not like what I have to say or feel about these things, and I’m okay with it. I’m okay that people choose to do things different. But yes I do feel strongly about the things and know the Lord has led us to these conclusions, otherwise we wouldn’t be doing them.

while i wait...

well. i'm still not even that close to my due date so really i can't complain. however, i am complaining so what are you going to do :P i'm one of those pregnant ladies. i have always been one of those pregnant people. i love my kids dont really love growing them inside my body. so dear charlotte tomorrow is a great day to be born and here are all the reasons why:

1. You're Grandpa is arriving! So he can stay home and watch your brother while we go to the hospital to have you.
2. It will put you exactly a month younger than your cool cousin Zion. That's pretty neat... its like you share the same birthday but in different months... common' thats cool!
3. It's the day after your other awesome cousin Luke was born.
4. Also Gavin was born after the Burkey Anniversary, why don't we just keep with tradition of having our birthday's after something Burkey?!?!
5. It's the day before your Auntie Katie's birthday, and she's pretty darn cool too.
6. October seems to be the month for our family.... with 5 other birthdays; but by being born tomorrow you can make the gap complete and beat out Papa and Nic and their birthday weekend. It'd be like a birthday week for you, Luke, and Kate.
7. I have a doctor's appointment Friday, I would rather not attend, so if you can just make your way out so I don't have to go that would be great.
8. Lots of friends have given your really awesome gifts and blankets and clothes, maybe you should come out so I can dress you up and wrap you up in style?!?!
9. Also, Christina has offered to make us scones, that sounds yummy... I would like some ASAP, so you need to get here so I can eat them, because she said she'd bring them once your here.
10. I really want to see your face, and I'm not a patient person.
The End.

In other areas, I love my son. He's so awesome. Even when he's terrible [get it terrible twos] he's absolutely wonderful. He is the highlight of my day every day. And every time I get contractions and I think of labor and I think of how uncomfortable I am... I look at this little bud and I melt. I am so thankful for him. He is worth it and a whole lot more. I can't wait to have another one. I love my children. Thanks Jesus.

Fall Fun!

Daddy and his boy.

Gavin picked his own pumpkin

Pumpkin bounce w/ daddy

Gavin and Charlotte ;)

Yay! Family Photo